A few Jokes
The Game Warden stopped a deer hunter and asked to see his hunting licence. "This is last year's licence." the warden informed him.
"I know, " said the hunter, "but I shouldn't need a new licence, I'm only shooting at the deer I missed last year."
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You may have heard about the new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner.
So when she and her husband pulled up at the hotel, she asked him if there was anything that they could do to make it appear they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure, you carry the suitcases!"
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Last night, Eddie the Egg was arrested by police and taken to HQ for questioning. He is considered to be the prime suspect in the beating of another egg at the farmer's market.
The other egg is expected to live, but he's in a coma as his brains have been irreversibly scrambled.
At HQ, the police could not get a confession out of Eddie. They tried putting him in a chair under a hot light. All they accomplished was getting Eddie really boiled up and rolling all over the place.
The police had to put him into a straightjacket to contain him. Yet, Eddie continued to roll all over the place. The police pulled the straps of the jacket tighter. Finally Eddie confessed ....
He "CRACKED UNDER THE PRESSURE!"
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A man drives to a gas
station and has his tank filled up. While doing this
the clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says, "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them
but, I haven't a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Yeah, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The
clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the
zoo!"
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "and we had a swell time. Today I'm taking
them to the beach."
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Two old men were
sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in
progress.
One leaned over the other and said, "Cripes! life is boring, we never have
any fun these days. For two bucks, I'd take my clothes off and streak
through the flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old fellow, holding up two dollars.
As fast as he could, the first old man fumbled his way out of his clothes
and completely naked, streaked through the front door of the town hall.
Waiting outside, his friend heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed
by loud applause.
The naked old man burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"How did it go?" asked his friend.
"Great!" he said, "I WON FIRST PRIZE AS A DRIED ARRANGEMENT!!!"
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