Tales about kids
When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I
noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house.
"Is that your grandmother?" I asked. "Yes, "Chris said.
"She's come to visit us for Christmas." "How nice," I said.
"Where does she live?" "At the airport," Chris replied.
"Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."
.........................
When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small
son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for,
then he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the
kitchen counter. "What are you doing?" his Mom asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken,"
the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
................................
In
the supermarket was a man pushing a cart that contained
a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating
softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't
yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert." A woman standing next to
him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to
soothe your son Albert." The man looked at her and said,
"ma'am, I'm Albert."
................................
A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of
kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his
mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens."
"How did you know that?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked
them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."
.................................
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly people, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on
my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers
and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of
false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
................................
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our
minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his
collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his
playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial
should be performed, they had secured a small box and
cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to
say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity
intoned his version of what he thought his father always
said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather. And unto the
Sonnnn.......and into the hole he gooooes."
............................
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm
just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I
can't write, and they won't let me talk!"
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