More Kid’s Stories
A little child in church
for the first time watched as the ushers passed
the offering plates.
When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."
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After a church service on
Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided
to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but
what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
...............................
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to
say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
.........................................
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and
on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
.......................................
After the christening of his
baby brother in church, little Johnny
sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three
times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
"That priest said he wanted us brought up
in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
.........................................
Terri
asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their
favourite Bible stories.
She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said
Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be
Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri
said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot."
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The Sunday School Teacher
asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you
say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom
is a good
cook."
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A college drama group
presented a play in which one character would
stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand
below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the
character would plunge through.
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place.
When the new actor
announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor
began his plunge, but became
hopelessly stuck.
No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
........................................
Pastor Dave Charlton tells
us, "After a worship service at First Baptist
Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old
boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.
About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!'
It worked."
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A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a
bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up,
"Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he
answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa,
did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective
faces again, she observed, "God's getting
better at it, isn't he?"
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