And God created children

 

    To those of us who have children in our lives,
    whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces,
    nephews, or students...here is something to make
    you chuckle.

    Whenever your children are out of control, you
    can take comfort from the thought that even God's
    omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
    After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam
    and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

        "Don't what?" Adam replied.

        "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

        "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit?
    Hey Eve...we have forbidden
        fruit!!!!!"

        "No Way!"

        "Yes way!"

        "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

        "Why"

     "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God
    replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation
    after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
    God saw His children having an apple break and He
    was ticked!

        "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?"
    God asked.

        "Uh huh," Adam replied.

        "Then why did you?" said the Father.

        "I don't know," said Eve.

        "She started it!" Adam said

        "Did not!"

        "Did too!"

        "DID NOT!"

        Having had it with the two of them, God's
    punishment was that Adam and Eve should have
    children of their own. Thus the pattern was set
    and it has never changed.

        BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

        If you have persistently and lovingly
    tried to give children wisdom and they haven't
    taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had
    trouble raising children, what makes you think it
    would be a piece of cake for you?

        THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

        1. You spend the first two years of their
    life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you
    spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down
    and shut up.

        2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not
    killing your own children.

        3. Mothers of teens now know why some
    animals eat their young.

        4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact,
    they usually repeat word for word what you
    shouldn't have said.

        5. The main purpose of holding children's
    parties is to remind yourself that there are
    children more awful than your own.

        6. We child proofed our homes, but they
    are still getting in.

        ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids.
    They will choose your nursing home.

        AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A
    LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT
    SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
    AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"

 

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